Kagome's Panties
by youkaineko on MM
Summary: What do ninja snacks, vending machines and panties have to do with each other? Only Inuyasha could make this kind of leap in logic.


**Disclaimer:** Sadly, Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, not me.

**A/N:** This is the first fanfic I ever posted anywhere. It first hit the net on September 06, 2007 on MediaMiner. For some reason you guys liked it enough to nominate it and award it IYFG's Hidden Treasure for 2007. Do you have any idea how intimidating it is to win something the first time out the gate? Now I'm constantly second guessing myself on what I write, and am very hesitant to post for fear it isn't good enough. *sigh* Ah well, I guess it's better than getting flamed for my atrocious spelling and punctuation. Anyway I hope you enjoy…

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**Kagome's Panties**

She had wanted to take him shopping. And for some reason he still couldn't fathom he had foolishly agreed. So now here he was stuck wearing that stupid hat he hated, walking down some busy street, in the overcrowded stinky city, just so she could go shopping.

She was prattling on again about something inane. He loved her, he really did, but when she talked just to fill the empty spaces, he sort of tuned her out. She had been talking about school and some festival. Half of what she said he didn't understand anyway, so he was fairly sure she wouldn't mind that he wasn't paying attention. Besides it was far more important that he watching for danger.

His ears swiveled under his baseball cap trying to sort out all the strange sounds. It had taken awhile for him to not flinch at car horns, but he was reasonably sure that she was right that all the cars would stay on the black part of the road, and not venture onto the slightly raised gray part that they now walked on. So they posed little danger. But the people, they were another matter. Besides the shear mass number of them, which made him nervous, and the rude way they ignored each other even when bumping into each other, it was the ones hawking their wares that confused him the most. They would thrust into his hands, or sometimes press onto his chest small packages, that Kagome called samples, while saying, "please visit-" whatever the name of the store was, and then give him a brightly colored piece of paper as well. Kagome seemed to think this odd behavior was normal and just dumped the packages into her bag without even looking at them. He even recognized a few that she had brought back with the ninja snacks.

Still he needed to be on guard and was constantly sniffing the foul smelling air so loaded with smoke from the cars that most other smells were virtually eliminated.

_Car. Car. Car. Really stinky bus. Car. Sex. Car. Wait…sex? _

He turned and stared at the big box in the alley they were passing. Scenting more deeply. _Yep, the box smells of dozens of women._

Kagome stopped beside him, and then caught what he was staring at, while sniffing intently. She blushed slightly.

"What is it?" he asked confused, walking up to the big box.

She shook her head not wanting to explain, while looking everywhere except at it or him.

Ok, now he HAD to know.

"It's a vending machine," she said finally not meeting his eyes.

"I KNOW that much, I've seen you get enough drinks from them but why is this one full of underwear?"

Her blush grew. "Some guys like to buy them."

"Why would guys buy someone else's underwear?"

"Um… to smell them," she whispered.

_Huh? Does that mean even a human could smell the stale scent of arousal most of the panties were drenched in? But that would mean that women had to knowingly put the garments into this contraption but that didn't make any sense…_

"Where do they come from? I mean, why would a woman give them?"

She stammered and fidgeted. He waited not letting her get away with not telling him.

"Girls sell their… um…used panties to make extra money." Her blush resembled his fire rat robes.

Slowly things were coming together. She always talked about shopping and brought back ninja snacks and ramen. She also made a point of saying when her mother bought them, which meant the rest of the time she did and he knew she wasn't employed nor did she even have the time for any part-time job since she spent most of her time with him in the feudal era.

And that meant … somewhere out there … was a box … with Kagome's panties in it … and some GUY as perverted as Miroku was sniffing them!

He whirled, grabbing her wrist and stalking back to the shrine.

"You will NEVER go shopping again, and the ONLY ninja snacks you can bring us your MOTHER must buy!" He growled, dragging her behind him.

_Huh?_ She was confused then angry as she stumbled trying to keep up as the irate hanyou angrily pulled her along.

"Sit boy!"

He slammed into the concrete.

"What the hell you do that for, bitch!" came the reflex response.

People were staring, but she didn't care.

"How dare you order me not to go shopping? Where do you get off ordering me to do anything?"

He was back on his feet.

"I will NOT allow you to sell yourself!"

"Si- WHAT did you just say?"

"I said," he hissed through clenched teeth. He was very aware everyone was staring now. "I SAID… you will NOT sell yourself! You will NEVER whore yourself again!"

Her eyes flashed, she was livid. How dare he call her a whore!

"Sit! Sit! Sit! SIT!"

He slammed further into the pavement with each command until finally it cracked beneath him.

"Oh my god!" "What the…?" "Did you see that?" whispered around them.

_SHIT!_ They both thought.

A police whistle was heard.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!"

She tugged on his haori trying to get him to get up before the spell had released him.

"Inuyasha! We have to get out of here! NOW!"

He grabbed her around the waist, leaping high into the air bounding on rooftops, just as the police arrived at the Inuyasha shaped crater.

Miles away, he dropped her unceremoniously on the ground.

They were both furious but they also both knew that their fight had to be put on hold until they were someplace safe.

Now back at the shrine they glared at each other.

Her eyes narrowed.

"Don't you dare-"

"Sit boy!"

Slam!

"Gah! Dammit woman! Why do you keep doing that?"

"You called me a whore!"

"No!" He glared at her, trying to get back up. "I said … I won't let you BE a whore!"

Her nostrils flared and he swore she was trying to breathe fire.

He struggled to his feet, "if I have to, I will destroy every pair you have! You will not sell your panties!"

_Wait… what?_ Her fury was mixed with confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

Now he was confused "I won't let you sell your panties for ninja snacks!"

She just looked at him, then suddenly fell over laughing.

"Dammit woman! I'm serious! You will not whore yourself for OUR FOOD!"

She bristled slightly at being called a whore again, but continued to chuckle as she looked up at him.

"I've got an allowance, baka."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means my mom gives me money to spend on things. I don't sell my panties."

"Oh," he squatted down on all fours studying her face for a long time. Then looked away, a hint of pink dusting his cheeks. "Well, don't ever start," he mumbled.

.

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**A/N:** Yes, there really are vending machines in Japan that sell used panties. And yes, men really do buy them to sniff.


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